They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
