im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
