All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
