Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
