the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
