And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
