I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
