Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
