so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
