I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
