I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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