Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
