Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize