How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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