well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
