No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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