He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
