this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize