i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
