im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
