you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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