i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize