Yo dont text me then not text me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
