No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
