Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
