The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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