it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
