I just made out with a guy for $7.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
