Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
