if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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