How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
