he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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