Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize