my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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