day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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