She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
