So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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