on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
