Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
