On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
