You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
