I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
