I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
