So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize