im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
