There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
