Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
thus making me awesome and them whores
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
