another moral hangover. fuck.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
