i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
