They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize