you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
