She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she pinky promised me she was 18
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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