I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
